


a life of possibilities

by olfrogbait



Series: Alien Phil [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, I guess? I honestly have no idea how to tag this, M/M, POV First Person, Phil's an alien, there you go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:27:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23194729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olfrogbait/pseuds/olfrogbait
Summary: Phil has something he needs to tell Dan.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: Alien Phil [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1667566
Comments: 28
Kudos: 42
Collections: phandomficfests: escape from reality





	a life of possibilities

**Author's Note:**

> escape from reality fest: day 1 (pov 1st or 2nd person)
> 
> no beta. barely proofread. if i think about this too much, i'll never allow it to exist.
> 
> you can come [yell at me on tumblr](https://olfrogbait.tumblr.com/), if it makes you feel better.

Look, I know I’ve messed up. I know I’ve waited too long. But there isn’t exactly a handbook for when to break it to your boyfriend that you’re not actually Philly L from Rawtenstall, but actually … well, never mind, that doesn’t translate well. The point is I’m an alien, okay, and there’s no easy way to tell anyone that. 

And of course, Dan isn’t just anyone. He’s _Dan_. Both the love of my life … and well-known for being a _bit_ of a skeptic.

We’ve been living together for five years.

Shut up, shut up, I know. It’s bad. I’m a coward. I need to fix this.

The problem (one of them, anyway) is that there’s never a good moment. When things are good, I don’t want to ruin it. If Dan’s having an existential crisis, or we’re having an argument, I don’t want to make it worse. We definitely can’t have this talk while filming. Do I bring it up casually while we’re on the couch watching anime? He’d probably just think I was pranking him. That leaves … before sex? After sex? _During_ sex? All terrible options. (I’m not saying I haven’t seriously considered all of them, though.)

Today is not a good day. Dan’s been editing a video for his channel, and I can tell he’s not happy with it. He’s been wandering around the flat, muttering to himself. Normally I’d make him coffee and distract him with dog videos until his brain stops spinning out, but I can’t this time. I mean, I made the coffee. But we have to have this talk. It’s now or never. My hand is being forced.

“Dan,” I say, when he wanders into the kitchen, lured by the tantalizing smell. He reaches for the mug, but I pull it back from him, forcing him to look at me. “Dan, sit down for a moment.”

“I’m busy. I need coffee,” he says. His bottom lip juts out just the tiniest bit. What a baby. 

I almost fall for it, but I pull the mug away from him again just as he starts to twine his fingers around the handle. “No, sit down. This is important.” I try to use my deep, responsible grownup voice. That earns me a quirk of the eyebrow, but he walks over to the table and plops in the nearest chair, so I’ll take it. I follow him and put the mug down in front of him. He picks it up and breathes in appreciatively. 

When he opens his eyes again, Dan cocks his head at me expectantly, so I take the seat next to him and try not to wring my hands.

“All right,” Dan says. “What’s so important?”

“I need to tell you something.”

“Okay. So tell me.”

I wish I’d made myself a cup of coffee, too. I don’t know what to do with my hands. “So,” I say, then stop. “I’m -- I --” Deep breath. “There’s something you don’t know about me.”

Dan snorts. “Unlikely.”

“I’m serious. I’m, um, not who you think I am?” I don’t know why I say it like it’s a question. It’s definitely true.

Dan just shakes his head. He looks annoyed but in a put-on way. The dent in his cheek as always, is his tell. “Let’s have it, then.” 

I wait for Dan to take a sip of his coffee and then put the mug back on the table.

“Well?” Dan asks after a moment.

“I’m an alien,” I blurt out before I can stop myself.

Dan just stares at me, then there’s a scrape as he pushes his chair back and starts to stand up. “Great, thanks for that, Phil. I’m gonna go film my entire video again, if you need me --”

“No, Dan, sit back down. Please. I’m being serious.” My voice is shaking a little bit. Dammit.

Dan must notice, because he sits again without protest. “Are you okay? What is this about?” He reaches a hand across the table, but I don’t allow myself to take it. Not yet. 

“I just said. I’m an alien. I should’ve told you sooner, but I’ve been scared, and now things are happening, and you’re going to find out anyway, and you’re probably going to hate me, but I love you so much, I don’t want to lose you, but I should’ve told you so long ago, you’ll probably never forgive me --”

“ _Phil._ Slow down. I literally don’t understand a word you’re saying.”

Dan’s hand is still on the table. I sigh and reach out to cover it with my own. I think I always knew that there’d only be one way to convince him.

I close my eyes and try to concentrate. It’s been awhile since I tried to do this. I hear Dan’s chair creak as he fidgets, but he doesn’t say anything, despite how bizarre this must seem. Maybe he thinks I’m having a mental breakdown. I squeeze his hand slightly, hoping for reassuring, as I finally feel my mind make the connection with his that I’d been grasping for. Then, I show him the truth.

Almost immediately, there’s a violent lurch as Dan recoils and tries to remove his hand from my grip. I squeeze harder and open my eyes to find his face twisted in panic and confusion. He pulls with all of his strength and his hand flies back, smacking the nearly-full mug of coffee in front of him and sending it flying. The ceramic shatters on the floor. Neither of us spares it a second glance.

Dan’s taken a few steps backward but it doesn’t look like he’s going to run. That’s good. I can work with that. “What the -- what was _that?”_ he gasps.

“Surprise?” I say. I start to make a weak attempt at jazz hands but then think better of it. Barely.

“You’re … you’re really a … “ Dan can’t seem to bring himself to finish the sentence.

I nod. “I’m a alien. That’s what I was trying to tell you.”

Dan groans and puts his face in his hands. “This is a dream. I’m dreaming.”

“Maybe you should sit back down,” I suggest.

“No,” Dan says. He uncovers his face. “Explain.”

“I mean, I showed you everything. Everything up until I met you. My family’s in hiding. That’s why we’re here, on Earth, pretending to be human. But now they’ve found us.”

“Who are ‘they’?”

“Bad guys. Very, very bad guys.”

“Other aliens?”

I nod. When Dan doesn’t say anything else right away, I decide to risk taking a step towards him. Then two. Then three, and I reach out to put my arms around his shoulders. Dan doesn’t hug me back, but he doesn’t pull away either, so I just hold him there. I can feel his heartbeat against my chest. Gradually, it seems to slow down, and he finally wraps his arms around my back.

“My boyfriend’s an alien,” he says. There’s resignation somehow mixed with fondness in his voice. Or am I just hoping that’s fondness?

“Yeah,” I agree, giving him a pat.

“I’m really mad at you,” he says. 

“Understandable. We should talk about it.”

“Yeah, so, first of all --”

“Not right now, though.” I pull away, reluctantly. In a way, this has all been the easy part. Now it’s going to get just a little bit dicier. “We actually need to leave. As soon as possible.”

“What?”

“We’re not safe here. We need to go to my parents’. I mean, you don’t have to come, if you don’t want to, but I don’t know when -- if -- I’ll be back.” 

“Okay, when you say we’re going to your parents’ … do you mean up north? Or, er, somewhere else? You know, just so I know how to pack.”

Never in my life have I been so close to laughing and crying all at once. Dan’s looking at me with a determination that I’ve seen many times before. I just never thought I’d ever see it in this context. 

“Up north,” I clarify. “On the train. After that…”

Dan doesn’t let me finish. “You’re going to do a lot of talking on that train ride. A _lot_. I know you just beamed all that shit into my brain, but I’m still mostly sure you’ve made it all up. You have a lot of convincing to do. We’re going to get so many weird looks. But that’s hardly a new experience, being in public with you.”

“Hey,” I try to protest, but now I’m actually choking up a bit, and giggling, and it comes out kind of wet and strangled. This time it’s Dan who reaches out and pulls me into a hug.

“I need you to know,” he says, “just in case this is some elaborate prank you’ve cooked up to try and get rid of me. It’s never going to work.”

“Oh well, never mind, then,” I say, but the words are muffled, spoken into his shoulder.

Dan sighs. I know there’s a lot he wants to say, and ask, and probably make inappropriate jokes about. And I know he’s probably scared. _I’m_ scared. So it’s for both of us that I once again use the physical connection between us to create a mental link. This time, though, instead of sending a barrage of startling information and images, I just send a feeling. The truest feeling I know. The way I feel about Dan.

He doesn’t jerk away this time. He just plants a soft kiss in my hair before saying, “I guess we’d better go pack, then.”

“Yeah,” I say. “We’ve got a long trip ahead of us.”

**Author's Note:**

> reblog on tumblr [here](https://olfrogbait.tumblr.com/post/612898136770396160/a-life-of-possibilities)


End file.
